


And All My Faces Are Alibis

by Miss_Halo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Crack, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Flash Thompson Redemption, He could be better tho, He says fuck, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Peter can swear, Slow Burn, Thaddeus Ross is a bitch, The avengers dont know who peter is, maybe idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-06-25 02:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19736713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Halo/pseuds/Miss_Halo
Summary: Peter just wanted to make some mozzarella sticks, but now he has too much to worry about. The government deems Spider-Man a menace to society since he never officially signed the Accords. He has to dodge the Avengers now, since they're getting a bit too curious about who Spider-Man really is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my shot at a fic where the Avengers don't know Peter's real identity. Hope you enjoy, and constructive criticism is appreciated!

Peter thought he was a pretty good cook, but this was a complete disaster. Ned and Michelle were coming over so they could binge-watch the newest season of Stranger Things. He wanted to prepare some food since May was staying overnight at the hospital for a surgery, and wouldn’t be home until late tomorrow. His friends were carpooling together and they should’ve been there any minute.

He flew around the kitchen, trying to put out the small oil fire from the pot of mozzarella sticks he was trying to make. Was oil fire supposed to have water thrown on it or be smothered? Peter really didn’t care, so he threw a towel on the pot. It executed the flames nicely, just in time. He heard footsteps coming down the hallway, one set heavy and one light yet firm. Ned came over enough to where he would just let himself in when the door was unlocked. Peter turned the burner on (lower this time) and swatted his hand around his face. There was some smoke from the fire that hadn’t been blown away from the ceiling fan. He ran and opened a window when his friends came in.

“Hey Peter—” Ned sniffed and let out a hum. “Are those mozzarella sticks?

“What’s hanging, loser?” Michelle came over and sat at the counter.

They chatted for a while until the food was finished, then sat on the couch. It was packed with blankets and pillows from all around the apartment. Peter sank into the thick blanket he hand and leaned against Ned. He was tired, since he had gone to the Stark Towers immediately after school. After the internship, he patrolled for a few hours until 9. He got home, showered, and began cooking for everyone. He was glad that he decided to stay in and relax with his friends.

They got through the first 5 episodes before he noticed that Michelle was out like a light. Ned was mostly asleep, drooling on his shoulders. Peter was having trouble staying awake too, so he paused it and flicked the TV off. His was already plugged in, so he carefully maneuvered out from beside Ned. He checked the lock on the door and turned the lights off in the kitchen, leaving the overhead stove light on. He turned around, and was startled by the image of a large figure peeking through the curtains. Peter froze and apparently the person was surprised at being caught, because they did too.

Peter jerked back to reality when the figure knocked on the window. He flicked the lights on and groan quietly. It was Logan. Yay. He shuffled to the window and unlocked it. He slid it up and jumped back when Logan pushed through. Peter huffed out a small laugh when his shoulders almost didn’t through, but stopped when Logan glared at him.

“Um. Why are you at my house, and can I help you? It’s 2 in the goddamn morning!” He hissed quietly. He didn’t want to wake up Ned or MJ. Logan groaned and it was then that Peter noticed a large and purple gash running down the side of Logan’s torso. Peter grabbed him and hauled him up and onto his black leather arm chair. Hopefully the blood just sits on the leather rather than seeping in, but at least it’s black, so it won’t stain too bad.

“Good to see you too, kid. I jus’ need somewhere to crash for tonight.” He looked over to the kids sleeping on the couch. “Well, I see you’ve already got company, but I won’t bother. Got any extra rooms for me?” His voice was rough and soft, thankfully realizing that waking up the other two would just make more problems. Peter sighed. He just wanted to get some sleep.

“No, no. It should be fine if you sleep in here. I don’t really want to move you. That looks kinda infected. You want me to get the first aid kit?” Please say no, please say no so we can just sleep.  
“Yeah kid, if you don’t mind it too much. Got swiped with something that looked kinda poisoned, and it kinda stings more than it should. Better safe than sorry?” Dang, okay. “I’ll leave in the mornin’, so no worries.” Peter huffed and Logan let out a snort. He went back to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit under the sink.

They’re silent when Peter cleaned the wound with rubbing alcohol, save for a few curses and hisses. After they finish, Peter gives a blanket and pillows, because he may be annoyed, but he isn’t a bad host. Peter goes back into his spot next to Ned, but before he can close his eyes, Logan speaks again.

“Kid, I just want to say… Thanks. I know you just want to hang with your friends without something wacky happening. Sorry for intruding, but this was the closest place to where I was fighting.” Peter sighs. The other man might be annoying, but Peter knew he was just doing his best.

“It’s fine. If you want to stick around for breakfast or something, like sleeping in, you don’t need to worry about my friends. They know about Spider-Man, and a little about our recent adventures. If you need anything, wake me up.” Logan nodded.

“G’night.”

“Good night.”

“Who the fuck are you. Get out.” Peter woke with a start. He sat up with bleary eyes at MJ, who stood over Logan. He just stared at her. Ned shifted next to Peter, and sat up too.

“Peter’s letting me crash here to heal a bit.” He pulled back the covers and stood up. The cut was mostly gone. “We work together sometimes. I’m assuming you’re Michelle?” She nodded, but her glare crumbled a bit when Logan stood to his full height.

“Yeah, it’s fine. He came in when you guys were asleep. What do you guys want to eat?” Peter changed the subject when he felt his stomach growl. When you have a super-human metabolism, eating more food is kind of annoying, but Peter’s used to it.

“Oh! Peter, you better make your French toast or I’m leaving.” Ned was sprawled out on the couch, taking Peter’s and MJ’s spot. “You like French toast, Mr. Wolverine Sir?” Peter laughed as he shuffled into the kitchen. It was freezing without socks on, and he didn’t remember turning the AC on last night. His friends chatted away with Logan with only mild discomfort from both parties.

He made the food the usual way he did. He mixed the eggs and milk, and whisked in some cinnamon. He made sure to snort some before putting it away. _I would never snort cinnamon_ , he mused. _Fun-dip, on the other hand..._ He melted some butter in the pan and dipped some bread into his mixture. He turned the burner low so he could venture into the living room without the food burning.

“Hey Peter, you might want to watch out if you see any Avengers or close associates around. I got word that they want to find Spider-Man and take him in for questioning, and probably stop you from doing what you’re doing. If I were you and saw them, I’d high-tail outta there.” Everyone clamored past to get to the kitchen and amazing smell. Peter flipped the toast and nodded. He knew that the Avengers weren’t too happy about a vigilante running around and risking the lives of people around him. What they couldn’t seem to understand, was that Peter never let anyone get hurt more than a few bruises or cuts. He knew they kept an eye out for him, and that they’ve been getting a bit more relentless in their searches.

Just a few days ago he had a bit of a stand-off with the Falcon on a rooftop after stopping a kidnapping weirdo together. He had tried to explain nicely that being Spider-Man is unnecessary. He didn’t want Peter to get hurt doing the police’s job. Peter just laughed awkwardly and slung away on a web. Thankfully, the man hadn’t followed him, but Peter still strayed away from his apartment for a few more hours, just to shake off any possible tails.

By then the French toast was finished, and Logan let himself out with a piece. The three friends sat at the kitchen table, joking and eating breakfast. Ned’s phone dinged with a message from his mom. He needed to go since family was coming over. Since MJ’s house was on the way, Ned just gave her a ride. Peter hugged him goodbye and shared an awkward wave with MJ. Peter was alone in his apartment until May would come home several hours later. He stepped into his small room to change from his pink Hello KItty pajama pants into some thicker, fuzzier bottoms. Before he crawled into bed, he closed his blinds and locked the window. He didn’t want any repeats of last night.

“We can’t have Spider-Man out there anymore.” Sam stood in the doorway of the tower’s lounge room. Everyone looked up at him lazily. Clint and Natasha were in an intense battle of Mario Kart, while Bruce sat wrapped in a blanket next to Nat. Wanda and Vision sat next to Clint, quietly cheering them on. Two old men were on the couch behind them. Steve was sketching while Bucky dozed off beside him. Rhodey was on his phone while Tony was in the kitchen through the next door. Probably making some coffee.

“Okay? Isn’t this what we’ve agreed on since like, last week?” Natasha leaned back and smirked. “You finally meet up?” Natasha had been out a few weeks ago, and had been ‘saved’ by Spider-Man himself.

She could’ve had the guy who grabbed at her down and unconscious in five seconds flat, but she wanted to humor him. Before she had been able to do anything, Spidey had webbed his hand and bungeed him up. He was webbed to the wall, and Natasha just raised an eyebrow at the fellow spider before her.

“Hi! Are you okay, Ma’am?” Spider-Man’s voice cracked, and Natasha let out a laugh. He sounded young, and he seemed sweet. She took off her sunglasses used to hide her face, and huffed again at the widened lenses of the suit.

“Of course I am. We spiders need to stick together, eh?” She smirked again and walked off, without waiting for an answer.

“Well, yeah, but I was wondering… Shouldn’t we figure out who’s under the mask, help him out? He doesn’t exactly get a payroll.” He pushed Bucky’s legs off the couch, earning a grumble and smack to the knee. “Plus, I talked to him a few nights ago, and you know how Ross has been up our asses about him?” That earned him a groan. “Shouldn’t we help keep Ross’s hands off him? I don’t feel like we should just let the government take him. Like, duh, he can probably hold his own, but I don’t want him to. Maybe we can just let him in here? Strike a deal and maybe get some training in with him.”

“I don’t know. He could be dangerous. I don’t want to let just anyone into my tower.” Tony walked in with a bowl of soup, surprisingly void of coffee for once. “I’ve never met him, but maybe we should strike a deal. You know, get him to sign the amended Accords to get the government off his back. Maybe getting to know him would be nice.” The other Avengers nodded in agreement.

“Let’s find Nemo!” Natasha looked up at Steve upside down. “It’s from this movie—”

“I—I know what Finding Nemo is, Nat.”

“Oh.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! Very excited for this!! I forgot to mention in the first chapter that the title is based on a song called Alibis by Marianas Trench. Enjoy!!! :{)

Tony was practically vibrating with anticipation when Pepper got back from a board meeting. He had on casual clothes, some jeans and a shirt with a duck-rabbit graph on it. She gave him a look when he shot up from the couch in the lounge. 

“What has you all excited?” She gave him a sweet and chaste kiss, before setting her bag on beside the coffee table. He grinned sheepishly.

“Remember that kid I talk about, Harley? He’s the one that helped me out during the Mandarin incident. Did you remember that he’s coming to stay for the school year?” Pepper nodded, smiling at his excitement. “Harley’s coming up now. I haven’t seen this kid for a while. I’ve got a lot in the lab for him to work on.” They were interrupted by the elevator opening, and out came a tall boy with a bold smirk and suitcase.

“Howdy, old man!” Tony shook his head in disgust. 

“Nuh-uh, one: you don’t call me old until my knees are cracking, and two: no yee-haw language in my house.” Tony walked over and gave him a swift side-hug. He guided him to Harley’s new room, down the hall from Tony’s and Pepper’s room. They caught up while unpacking, and Tony tried handing him a brand new StarkPhone. 

“No way, I can’t accept that. My phone’s working fine.” Harley gave Tony a playful glare after being repeatedly poked in the side with the box. 

“Kid, I’m not letting someone with a competitor’s phone in my house, so if you’re gonna live here, you’ll promote our company.” Harley took the box and set it on his new oak desk. Tony plopped onto the bottom bunk of Harley’s bed only to put his feet up and kick the bed above.

“So, your new school's called Midtown, just a bit over 20 minutes from here. I’ve got your schedule and your already signed for everything. If you ever make friends, make sure I know who they are before you bring them over.” Harley laughed, settling down above Tony’s head. 

“Yeah, whatever. When are we gonna eat?” Tony snorted and pulled himself up with one of the rungs holding the mattress above him. 

“Now, I guess. You want me to introduce you to Pepper first?”

“Hell yeah! She radiates such bad bitch energy. I would die for her.” Tony’s eyes widened while his brows lowered, giving off a comedic effect. “She’s a bad bitch, they can’t kill her.” Tony ignored him, figuring that he might as well get used to it since he knew that’s how kids these days expressed their love.

  
  


Peter woke up late for school. Again. May ran into his room and pushed the door open, yelling.

“Peter! We both woke up late, get up before you’re late again.” Peter floundered in his covers before hopping out and into some jeans and flannel, covered in a big gray sweater. He pulled on his socks and shoes and snatched his bag. He shoved a granola bar into his pocket, kissed May goodbye before running out the door and down the stairs to the bus stop.

  
  


He made it into his first class just before the first bell rang. He gave Mr. Harrington a sheepish grin while he slid into his seat. Michelle gave him an indifferent glance before going back to her book, Wuthering Heights. Peter slid down in his seat, burrowing into his sweater. It that he was always freezing since the spider had bitten him. He researched a bit more into spiders, learning that they couldn’t thermoregulate like humans and that they had no bones, only an exoskeleton. Peter’s bones must have hollowed out or something since he now weighed 120 instead of his normal 141. He was incredibly bendy too, which lead to him testing how flexible he really was. Peter got lost in his thoughts before Ned leaned over and nudged him. The door opened and a boy walked in. 

“Okay, class, this is Harley Keener. Say hi!” There was an unenthusiastic greeting aimed towards the new kid. 

“Howdy.” Oh boy. The kid was southern. He flashed everyone a shaky grin and sat in the seat in front of Peter. As Mr. Harrington went back to teaching, Peter took a moment to examine Harley. He was tall and had dusty blonde hair that curled atop his head. He was kind of tan, too. Peter couldn’t really see much from the back, but he saw some freckles dusting his arms. 

The rest of the day passed by without much excitement up until his last class, choir. He had initially joined it on a dare from Ned since MJ was already in it, and Peter had an extra elective. They both convinced Ned to join after hearing him sing along to Somewhere Over The Rainbow. The three were all pretty good singers, and would oftentimes break into musical numbers while doing mundane things, like homework, or while they were on their weekly facetime call during Peter’s patrol. 

It turned out that the new kid, Harley, had also joined the choir. They sat in their seats and warmed up with the help of the piano. Peter kept taking drinks of his water, and when Ned leaned over to ask, Peter just answered with, “Lubrication,” which sent them into fits of giggles. MJ shot them a questioning smile from the soprano section. 

Peter and Ned were both altos, with a few other sophomores like Flash and Harley. Flash usually ignored Peter and Ned in favor of singing, which he did very well, much to Peter’s dismay. Though, Flash had been laying off the two lately, which was probably due to almost dying in DC. Almost dying really tends to do that to people. Thanks to his enhanced hearing, Peter could pick out Harley’s voice. It was a bit raspy but deep and charming, and Peter could still hear the damn southern accent. 

“Alright, since I know you lot are a social bunch,” Mr. Yew turned in his piano stool to face the class. “I’ve assigned a group project.” Peter groaned, along with the rest of his peers, and threw his head back in disgust. “Yeah, I know. It’s the end of the world.” He gave everyone an annoyed stare. “You’ll be in groups of five, and I want you to record your group singing with an instrumental track. You can choose any song. Just try to make it mostly school-appropriate. If you need help getting the track, just email me. Send me the video in any way, preferably a link in an email, by next Monday. I’ve got your groups, so come take a look at this sheet after class.” He shook a paper in his hand before taping it to the blackboard just as the bell rang. 

Peter shoved his way through the crowd of students to get to the paper. After getting past a particularly tall senior, who he vaguely remembered seeing on the student news, he saw his group and groaned. Thankfully, he had Ned and MJ, but he also Flash in the group, along with Harley. He stood off to the side until everyone in his group walked over. 

“I assume we’ll make a group chat?” Harley asked and pulled his phone from his pocket. It was a brand new StarkPhone, one that cost a fortune in Peter’s eyes, and that a regular teenager shouldn’t be trusted with. 

“Harley, give me your number and I’ll add you to a chat.” Harley read his number off to MJ, and she shot a text to a new chat. After everyone’s phone chimed, they were satisfied, and they all left.

  
  


When Harley got home from his first day at Midtown, he was exhausted. His first thought was to get his homework over-with, and finish with a nice touch of junk food. He did homework for a few hours, and left his room to grab some food. He trudged down the hallway and around the hallway before lighting up in, very much awake. In the kitchen stood Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, and Bucky Barnes grabbing a pot from a low shelf. Rhodey and Pepper were standing idly and chatting together (He had previously been introduced to them, but that didn't stop him from getting excited). “Holy shit,” Harley whispered. Tony smirked at him from the kitchen island. He was so ready to embarrass Harley in front of his childhood heroes like any good adult-figure would. Harley sat at the table, and was immediately joined by Pepper and Rhodey. Harley’s phone buzzed as the Black Widow and Captain America brought the food in. 

“I hope you like Chinese, because we made a shit-ton of orange chicken.”Steve sad as he sat on Tony’s side.

“Language!”

  
  


**Michelin Man**

Whaddup Losers.

**Yeeter Parkour**

OOF.

**GuyInTheCHAIR**

Yo!!

You guys ready to sing??????

**ZoomMaster**

Hey we should do something from a musical.

Cause then we can have everyone in it, like we’re supposed to. Plus a lot of them are low key bops. 

**Harley Davidson**

Guys stop.

I’m eating dinner and we have guests

Like real important

So s/u

**Yeeter Parkour**

DANG OK.

yeah lets do a show tune!!!

**Michelin Man**

Wow Flash and Peter??? AGree?

**Yeeter Parkour**

Wacky tacky. Ikr

But Harley r u cool with a show tune?

**Harley Davidson**

Yeah but let’s pick one that’s actually good. No crappy songs. 

**ZoomMaster**

Okay. have you guys heard Be More Chill? Its good but idk if thats a good pick for this. 

**GuyInTheCHAIR**

Yeah, My grandma took me to see that a few months ago! It’s really good, but maybe not for this. 

**Harley Davidson**

You guys know DEH? Dear Evan Hansen?

**Michelin Man**

Yes! Let’s do Sincerely, Me!!!! 

**ZoomMaster**

Okay weirdo, but that only has like 3 parts?

**GuyInTheCHAIR**

Should I email Mr. Yew and ask if we can harmonize it?

**Yeeter Parkour**

Yeah that sounds good. Whose house, cause I’m sure you guys don’t want to come to mine. Too tiny. 

**Harley Davidson**

Mine should be fine. I’m staying in Stark Tower, so you guys can come over after school on Friday? Sleepover and mess around bc I want some friends and y’all seem cool...

**ZoomMaster**

Did you just type Stark Tower? Sounds good to me:)))

**Yeeter Parkour**

Sure that sounds good. And flash, plz never send a smiley face like that again. Thats so outdated. 

**Michelin Man**

Ditto.

**ManInTheCHAIR**

Yeah man I’m down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ZoomMaster**

Shut up Penis.

Harley looked up from his phone to Tony.

“Hey, can I have some friends over on Friday to work on a project for choir? It’d be an overnight thing.” Tony shovelled some food into his mouth and made a hard swallow before answering. 

“You got friends already? Wow, I’m impressed.” Harley rolled his eyes and piled more white rice onto his plate, adding some cooked beets and carrots too. “Sure, just let me know the names, and I’ll have some rooms in the lower levels set up, since I’ve got a studio recording booth down there.”

Harley blanched. 

“Wow, you really are rich. I should go get some homework done though. Good night, in case I fall asleep.” He got up from the table to put his dishes in the sink before slinking off into his room with his bag. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the only requirement to write a spiderman fic is to be smart, but I am not. Help.

Tony and Rhodey were on the couch playing Uno with Natasha, Clint, and Steve. 

“Uno.” Clint slapped a plus four on the leaning tower of cards. He leaned back and kicked a leg off of Nat’s lap. 

Tony felt his soul leave his fucking body. 

“Get out of my house.” They laughed, but Tony wasn’t laughing. “I’m serious, I can’t have you in my house while you wave this blatant disrespect around.” Rhodey was wheezing quietly when FRIDAY began speaking. 

“Boss, you have an incoming call from Secretary Thaddeus Ross. I’m sorry.” Tony knew FRIDAY wasn’t really sorry, but he just groaned and stood up slowly. 

“Ew. Send him through, I guess.” Rhodey shot him an eye roll. The chiming stopped and they heard Ross’s nasally voice. 

“Hello Tony. I’ve got a proposal for you.” They heard shifting on the receiver, and Ross continued. “You’ve probably heard of Queen’s resident vigilante, Spider-Man. We’ve gotten word that he isn’t abiding by the laws of the New Accords. We’re calling in for a favor that you get Spider-Man in to read and sign a new section of laws we’ve written specifically for big city vigilantes to follow, otherwise they must be arrested. Can we set for a meeting in the next week with Spider-Man to read and sign the laws?” There was more rustling. 

Tony looked at the others with a pinched expression. They  _ had  _ tried to get in contact with Spider-Man once, but he had shaken the tails they’d sent on him to talk with (Sending a tail probably wasn’t the best idea, so that was on them.). They would love to actually meet with Spider-Man, maybe even team up with the man. 

“If that’s all you want to do, then I’m sure we can set something up. Is that it, because we’ve got a big thing going on right now that I really have to get back to.” He sent a dark glare to Clint, who was grinning cheekily back at him. 

There was a pause.

“Yes. Thank you for your time.” FRIDAY ending the call. Tony took a sip of his juice. Natasha pouted playfully before grinning at them. 

“Well I guess we might add another spider to our arsenal!” Most of them agreed half-heartedly.

They continued their Uno game and Tony honestly wanted to kick his teammates out of his tower.

  
  


Thankfully for Peter, the next few days go without incident. Harley began sitting with him and his friends. He was received nicely, and the four talked talked and learned that Harley was a great mechanic, and was taking all AP classes. Most of them were hyped to get to go to Stark Tower just to work on a dumb project, but Peter was mostly just anxious. He thought that maybe there was a small chance that the Avenger would be there, and they would have some kind of freaky tech to find him out. His lack of sleep probably had to do with those thought too.

Peter regularly goes out on patrol every night, getting back past midnight and getting only a few hours of sleep. Crime has been going up recently, causing him to have momentary breaks before hearing more distressed chatter either from the police scanners installed in his suit or from the allies below him. 

On Thursday, Peter was sitting atop a grocery store with his mask pulled up below his nose. He was eating some M&Ms as a snack since he spent his whole lunch period doing a Chem essay. 

It was half past 11, and Peter figured he should just clock in early tonight. He slipped his mask back down his face, and stood up to swing away.

Before he could lift his arm to shoot a web, the base of his neck itched in anticipation and he heard the sound of thrusters. He turned around to see Iron Man himself settling down on the rooftop. Peter stiffened and knew the lenses on his mask widened in alarm. Iron Man gave a wave and his face visor dematerialized into the neck of his suit. That was new, the last time Iron Man had made an appearance was—

No. He needed to focus and stay aware, because the big man Iron Man himself is walking towards him with a snarky grin. Having a little fan freak-out while Spider-Man isn’t really high on his to-do list today.

“Hey Spider-Man! You’re just the man I was looking for, actually, how crazy is that.” For every step towards him, Peter matched with a few steps back and more to the side. “We—the rest of the Avengers and I—are in a bit of a pinch. Y’see, our best bud Secretary Ross either wants us to bring you in or have you sign the Accords.” Peter cut him off before he could continue. 

“I mean no disrespect, Mr. Iron Man sir, but I don’t really think I’m fit to join your little band of merry men. I’m also even less inclined to listen to anything that Ross guy says…I don’t get the best vibes from him.” He shrugged and faked out a little laugh. Despite Peter’s love for the man, his gut had always told him  _ not  _ to trust the Avengers with his identity, or really just Spider-Man in general. “Honestly, I’m honored, I really am. But I just don’t think I’m on that payroll yet. Anyways, I gotta swing.” He finished his little speech with a bow, he wiggled his fingers vigorously before pressing his other hand out to connect a web to the adjacent building.

He was about to jump from the building to patrol a little longer and work out his little nerdgasm when his web was cut by a flying metal disk. 

“Actually, we think you should stay a little longer. We just want to talk.” Peter turned back to Iron Man and nearly had a heart attack when he saw a tall blond man dressed in a patriotic suit. “We were asked by Ross to bring you in to read and sign the newly revised Accords.” He took a step forward and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Captain America.”

_ Oh my God _ . Peter went and shook his hand, but his stupid teenage brain recognized the Captain America PSA Voice™ and immediate tried to disregard whatever else came out of his mouth. Thankfully, he tuned in right away and caught everything.

“We’d like to invite you to Stark Towers to sign the Accords. I bet you’ve heard about everything going on from the press.” Peter nodded. “Ross wants you to abide by the law of the Accords, and since you haven’t been exactly lawful before... He really just wants to arrest you.”

“Yeah, and since we think you aren’t up to some bad shit, and you really just want to help people, we’ve agreed—” Tony grinned crookedly at him.

“We didn’t ask the others, but it’ll be fine.”

Peter was bewildered. His options were kind of limited. On one hand, he could go with the Avengers, read the accords, probably be reeled into something big because that’s Paker Luck for you. Or, the more desirable option would be to leave, stay a friendly neighborhood spider, and not have to deal with any of the legal junk. But, he knew it’d come and bite him in the butt if he didn’t deal with it directly. 

“Alright, I’ll go with you guys. So all I’d have to do is sign some stuff. What if I don’t sign it?” Iron Man tilted his head and clucked his tongue. 

“Honestly? I’m sure there’s nothing you wouldn’t agreed to. It’s a different set of rules, since you don’t work with the Avengers and your identity is secret, but we read it and made sure it would be reasonable. So, what’s the verdict?” Peter had crouched half-way through the terms. His stomach was starting to hurt. He burned right through those M&Ms. 

“Will you be a good host and have food?”

“I—what?” Iron Man flicked his helmet out and down. “I’m a billionaire, of course I’ll have food. This will take a while, probably all night. How ‘bout we just do half today, then you can swing by tomorrow night and we’ll finish?” Peter nodded absentmindedly. 

“Alright, I’ll race you. Yoink!” He shot a web and practically yeeted himself out and away towards Stark Tower. 

  
  


“That guy is really immature. Are you sure we can trust him not to run off?” Steve started down the fire escape to his motorcycle. He grunted as he swung down the last platform onto the lid of a dumpster. His bike was black and sleek, with a little American flag that Natasha had gotten him as a joke. He liked it though, so now it sat taped onto the cowl cover of his seat. 

“Of course I’m sure. He’s a nice guy and I don’t think we should let Ross on him like a pack of dogs. We should give him a chance. You’ve seen Spider-Man in action, he’s real impressive.” Tony powered up his suit while Steve started his bike. “Meet you there.”

“See you.” Tony saluted with words that were drowned out by his thrusters starting up. He blasted up into the New York sky, leaving Steve in the metaphorical dust. 

  
  


When Steve got to the Tower, Spider-Man was already crouching on a street lamp. His bike was parked and after calling him down, the two made their way through the lobby to a set of elevators. FRIDAY opens the door for them, starting some old 40’s music since it was on the playlist that Clint had helped Steve make. 

“Tony’s already up in a conference room with Ross. We’ll review the first half tonight, and then we’ll set up a later date.” Steve looked down at Spider-Man standing next to him, oddly quiet. He was short and thin, with lean muscles showing through his suit. He came up to just above Steve’s shoulder. The mask covered his face, and it looked like there was no nose. 

_ Do spiders have noses? _

“So, do you know if the Accords have anything about my identity? I don’t really want that all to be revealed to anyone, even you guys.” Spider-Man broke Steve out of his reverie. He shook his head. 

“No. From what we’ve learned, that’s something that you’d like to keep private. We came to an agreement that it’s your decision of whether or not you will reveal your identity.” The doors opened to the floor and they made their way down the hall. Spider-Man pushed open the heavy conference doors like it was nothing with Steve following behind. 

  
  


Peter was really nervous when he actually had time to process what was going on. Inside the room, there was a tall ceiling with a fancy glass chandelier hanging off a thick chain. A large oak table sat in the middle of the room with sleek office chairs circling the perimeter. A tall man in a three-piece suit stood with Tony Stark, out of his Iron Man armor. He was white with a bushy mustache. His eyes met Peter’s behind the mask, and stepped forward with a thin smile.

“Hello, Spider-Man. I’m sure you know who I am by now. I am Secretary Thaddeus Ross. Shall we get started?” He didn’t wait for a reply, just turned and brisky sat himself in a seat.

Peter sat a few seats down, leaving room for Tony and Steve to file in. There was a stack of papers stapled together in front of him with a heading reading  _ New Accords: Vigilantism Act I _ . It was at least 50 pages long. Peter groaned internally.  _ This is worse than that 10 page Chem essay due tomorrow.  _ This was going to be a long night. 

  
  


For once, luck seemed to be on his side. There was a tense tone throughout most of the meeting, but they made it through with minimal interruptions. It was just past midnight when they finished, and now Peter sat in his apartment in just his sweatpants.

The new laws in place for him weren’t as bad as he thought. They only covered a few things today: The types of crimes he could stop, staying after a bigger scale crime to give a police report, and the way he stops crime. He agreed with everything, mainly because it was what he’s been doing, so they finished quicker than expected. 

His phone was plugged in and the main lights were off. He snuggled deeper into his comforter and huffed out a sigh. He felt a prick in his neck just before his phone buzzed on the bedside table. He picked it up and peered at the bright screen. He got a message from the group chat with his classmates. 

**Harley Davidson**

You guys ready? :)))) Tony’s excited to meet you guys bc he “wants to insert himself in his ward’s life”

He denies it but i know he’s reading parenting books and its so fcking funny tbh

Peter’s stomach fluttered nervously as he thought about the project. He honestly hated singing singularly in front of people that aren’t Ned and MJ. 

**ZoomMaster**

Dude I still don’t really think u live with Tony Stark. But yeah I’m excited to hear Penis’ss cracky puberty voice.

**Yeeter Parkour**

I dont have a cracky puberty voice

**Harley Davidson**

Woah Peter what the fuck?

**Michelin Man**

Hey shut up.

Peter laughed aloud, set his phone down, and rolled over. He  _ was  _ excited to go and do the stupid project for once, mainly because he wanted to spend time with his friends and Harley. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited! The fic is almost ready to start the drama and action. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this, but I have a loose idea. sorry about the late update, but im afraid this will be normal. I start high school in 13 almost 12 days and I'm not ready at all. I really need to fix my sleep schedule. 
> 
> All that aside, I'll link my tumblr here so you can suggest or do whatever. [Here it is.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/townbread-d)

Peter and his friends (plus Flash) decided that they would go straight from Decathlon to Harley’s ‘house’. Harley agreed and said he would pick them up from the school.

Ned kept sending memes about the south to the group chat, which led to MJ threatening to block him and Harley exaggerating his accent during class. After his last class with him, Peter said goodbye to Harley before he pushed his way through the throng of sweaty students. He made it to Decathlon just before it started. MJ stuck her tongue out at him when he slid into his seat. His bag was beside him on the floor. He pulled out some snap peas. 

Decathlon was, albeit Mr. Harrington’s interruption to announce no practice next Monday, pretty slow-going. Peter practically fell asleep on his hand between questions, Ned would firmly poke him in the side. It was on the verge of tickling, which led to Peter ‘randomly’ squeaking out an embarrassing giggle. Michelle glared at them from behind her book of trivia, but after seeing their sheepish smiles, her glare cracked out to a huff and hidden smile. 

After being dismissed, Peter grabbed his bag. Since it was after school, the team walked out to the February cold together to either wait for a ride or drive themselves.

It was the kind of cold that soaked into the bones, and though Peter had layered up considerably, he was still shivering. The parking lot was nearly empty save for a few small cars in the far back of the lot. A silver SUV drove up with the engine revved with tinted front windows. The passenger window rolled down and showed Harley Keener in black sunglasses pushing his curly golden hair up his forehead. 

“Get in losers, we’re going shopping.” He laughed and unlocked the doors. Flash practically pushed Peter out of the way in order to get up to the front. Ned rushed to the other side of the car to get in, while Peter and MJ went in the side near the curb.

Peter observed the car while the car filled with quiet chatter. It was nice, with grey leather covering the three seats in the back. The dash had sleek dark oak accents around the radio and screens. It must’ve been expensive, which further confused Peter. Who was this mysterious kid who showed up in nice clothes, ‘lived’ at Stark Tower, and had such a nice car? 

The drive was peaceful aside from the normal New York traffic and bustle. There must have been some altercation, since the traffic was completely stopped. Peter took out his earbud so he could comment on Harley’s Mean Girls reference, which led to someone plugging their phone into the aux cord to blast the Mean Girl musical soundtrack.

Flash tapped the screen in the dash. He made his way to the settings, and tried to turn the bass up as high as it would go. 

“Absolutely not. FRIDAY, you mind locking the bass?” Peter stopped digging in his bag for a snack. Harley was staring up at the ceiling, but when Peter looked, nothing was there. 

“Of course, Mr. Keener. Would you like me to tell Mr. Stark that you are on your way?” Peter glanced across MJ to Ned, who already met his eye. Was this the famous AI that was in Stark Tower? 

“Yeah, tell him I’ve got some friends too. Thanks darlin’.” Harley glanced back as he tapped on the gas gently. The traffic was finally letting up. “That’s Tony’s AI, FRIDAY. She’s great.” Peter nodded. 

“I intern at SI on the lower R&D labs, so I hear her sometimes in the lobby.” They finally arrived at the tower. Peter unbuckled his seat belt. They walked inside and immediately felt the heat warm their bodies. 

They lobby was how it usually was to Peter, a place of business and bustle. There was a row of silver elevators in the far back of the lobby. There were men and women in suits and business attire carrying clipboards, boxes, and StarkPads or phones. Peter saw a few of his fellow interns, most of whom were local college students looking for experience. 

“Alright guys, Tony keeps his recording booths in some of the higher levels that you wouldn’t have access to, so I need to snatch y’all some passes for security. The head of security is real strict about wearing your badges.” They followed Harley to one of the desks with a young man sitting behind a computer. He looked up at Harley and immediately lit up. 

“I’ve gotcha the goods, kid.” The man stood up and grab a stack of cards on the far corner of the table. “Have a good day kids.” He waved and quickly got back to the computer screen. 

“Thanks Dan.” Harley turned back with a crooked smile to pass the badges around. “So we’ll go up and maybe order some take out. Let’s go.

  
  


“Help me!” Peter laughed into the mic when he heard his voice through the speaker. It wavered and sounded like someone was adjusting the pitch of his voice as he spoke. “I’m stuck in Area 51 and they’re experimenting on me. Please send a raid party to free my extraterrestrial brethren.” Behind the plexiglass screen, MJ laughed and took a bite of her fries. 

“Wait Peter do some ASMR,” Ned gasped out. He opened the door and tried to hand Peter a box of nuggets. He spun away from Ned’s offer. “Please! ASMR isn’t even that bad.”

“Get away from me you hobo, ASMR is disgusting.” Peter rolled the wheely-chair towards the corner with a giggle. 

Flash stood up from the chair across the glass. He cracked his back and threw his empty milkshake in the trash bin. “Hey, are we ever gonna see your room? If you live in a place like this, your room has to be bomb.” Peter nodded in agreement. They had finished up with the project, and they had decided to sing Meet The Plastics from the Mean Girls Musical. They had fought on who would sing what for a while before someone decided to just pick a number 1 through 10, and FRIDAY would pick a number they had to guess. Peter and Flash fought over who would be Regina, but Peter got to be her. Flash got Karen and Cady (since he didn’t get to be Regina), MJ was Janis, Ned was Damian, and Harley was Gretchen. 

It went really well, and Peter had a lot of fun. He was giddy with excitement while they ate their food. Their group was full of good singers, with higher and lower notes not being a problem. 

“Yeah, I guess. Are y’all still sleeping over?” Harley got up too, so Peter took that as a cue to grab his stuff. Everyone nodded in confirmation. They took the elevator to an even higher floor. 

“My rooms on the communal floor, so we might see an Avenger in passing.” Flashes jaw dropped comically, but Peter couldn’t really blame him. Seeing the Avengers really is exciting. 

The elevator doors opened to a living room of sorts, with modern furniture and large TV mounted on the wall. Large windows let the orange sunset in to light up the room. On the couch, Tony fucking Stark sat with Bruce Banner and the Black Widow and Hawkeye. It looked like they were playing Monopoly. Hawkeye looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel. He heard their heartbeats quicken when they looked up. 

They were dressed in casual clothes, different from the uniforms Peter would see them in either in the press or during Spider-Manning. Flash gasped from in front of him, and he heard MJ suck a breath in. Ned was silent, but Peter knew him well enough to know that he was having a nerdgasm moment. 

“You’re Tony Stark!” Flash practically shouted in the near silent room. The Avengers were shaken from their stupor, and Tony stood up. 

“Well I hope so.” Peter and Harley snorted in unison. He looked up at Harley then back to Tony with a slight blush. “Hey kids, there’s food in the fridge and we’ll be out here if need be.” He looked at them, then his posture relaxed a bit. “Are you gonna introduce me to your friends, kid?” Harley made a face. 

“Duh, I’m a southern gentleman.” He took a step forward so he could face both Tony and his friends. “That’s MJ, Flash, Ned, and Peter. We’ll be in my room if you need us.” Harley started walking to the hallway adjacent to the elevator. The rest followed like a bunch of little ducklings. Black Widow called after them. 

“We’ll be listening to that singing track!” MJ groaned and Harley shouted nonsense back at her.

  
  


They watched Mean Girls, since the day was jam-packed with it, so they might as well. It was just after nine, so they put on an hour long vine compilation that buttered their croissants. Soon enough, they got hungry. (Well, Peter was hungry long before but he didn’t want to say anything. Super-metabolism.) Harley suggested popcorn. 

“Peter, come help me make some popcorn. You guys’ll pick something for us to watch. Let’s go.” Peter got up from his very comfy blanket nest, grumbling. He really didn’t want to move. He was freezing. 

They stood in the kitchen while the kettle corn was cooking. They had already made 2 bags of popcorn, but they decided they should spice it up and maybe even mix it with the popcorn. Mainly just to annoy their friends, really. Peter hopped onto the marble counter. 

“How do you like Midtown so far? Is it any different from Tennessee?” The microwave buzzed. Harley laughed and got out another big bowl. He supposed they weren’t mixing it. 

“I mean, it’s only been a week, but I like it well enough. More than bumfuck, Tennessee, anyways. I do miss my Ma and sister.” Peter tilted his head in question. “Abby. She’s real smart, she’d fit right in at Midtown, since she starts high school next year. You have any siblings?” Peter shook his head. He heard the gentle shuffle of bare feet on carpet coming from the hallway. He looked up and brown met blue. 

Steve Rogers stood in the doorway in a white tee and black sweats. He was sweaty and reeked of body odor even from the counter, so Peter figured he’d been training. He let out a simple, “Hello.” followed by grabbing a whole box of protein bars. Peter took a piece of kettle corn, dodged Harley’s swat, and popped it into his mouth, not before saying something he’s said a million times. 

“Yoink!”

Peter saw the Captain freeze for a moment before darting out just as fast as he’d come. Peter gave Harley a questioning look. Harley just shrugged and grabbed the bowls. Peter hopped down from the counter and followed Harley back towards his room. 

  
  


“Have you guys ever wondered about who Spider-Man is?” Steve stood in the doorway of the living room, munching on a protein bar. “If he has any family. A wife or husband, kids?” Clint jumped from the couch’s armrest excitedly. 

“I do! Nat and I talk about it a lot, and as far as I know, no one in the public eye really knows all that much about him. We have some theories actually—” 

Clint pulled out his phone, but everyone started shouting. They’ve seen when Clint started on one of his theories. It took a lot to pull him away. Tony looked up from his phone.

“Are you thinking of the Accords meeting we have with him? I still need to set that up with Ross and Spidey.” Steve shook his head absentmindedly while he sat next to Bucky. 

It wasn’t  _ so  _ weird that both Spider-Man and Harley’s friend had said ‘yoink’ in the same tone of voice, that made them sound eerily similar. Maybe it was just a cultural thing? Steve knew he shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Obviously, Spider-Man could be anyone, so just  _ one  _ person saying the exact thing in the exact style wouldn’t make it concrete evidence. 

“How common is the word ‘yoink’?” Clint made a face. 

“My two oldest say it all the time. It’s so annoying. Why?” Steve huffed. So it must just be a kid fad thing. Maybe Spider-Man had young people around him enough to change his vocabulary, or maybe he was young enough to just say it? 

He groaned. His head hurt just thinking about it. Besides, he wasn’t going to meddle in Spidey’s mess of a life. He knew that meddling where you weren’t welcomed nor needed was dangerous. 

  
  


Peter woke up with a groggy head. They’d stayed up watching movies, but eventually bingeing Shane Dawson’s conspiracy videos. The last thing he remembered hearing before falling asleep was something about Kanye West embarrassing Taylor Swift to initiate her to the Illuminati. He lay between Harley and Ned on a giant blanket bed they’d made on the floor. MJ was already up and on her phone in the bottom bunk. He was sure that Flash was still conked out on the top. Ned snorted particularly loud next to him. 

He sat up blearily. His phone was charging next to MJ. 

“Pst. MJ.” She squinted up at him. He pointed at his phone with a quick gesture of unplugging it. She grabbed it and threw it with absolutely terrible aim. It hit Harley’s floof of bed head poking from under his comforter. He grunted and swung an arm out. Hard. It hit Peter’s hip hard enough to bruise. 

“Bitch.” He heard MJ laugh at Harley’s grumble. He gingerly picked his phone up from next to Harley’s neck. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” MJ’s stage-whisper earned a snort from Peter before he plopped down into the warm nest of blankets and bodies. 


End file.
